its one of those days again. i'm not happy with my life, not happy with what i have achieved so far. its of those days when it hurts real bad to accept that i have not achieved so far what i could. a feeling that i am wasting my life. deep down a strong desire to leave everything behind, and start all over again with a new zeal.
i know i was gifted, i was blessed. but that blessing seems to have left me. infact i disregarded that blessing, and now luck is no more on my side. i know what to do to bring back the old blessed kashif, but i am unable to perform such a primitive task. why? i dont know. maybe Allah is not happy with me. i need his blessings to be able to shine again. but i feel i have disobeyed him. i have made him angry, and have walked away from him.
i want to go back now, i need to go back. i cannot live like this. i want to be a good human being, only then i can achieve what i was sent for. but what i was sent for anyways? who knows!!
Please forgive me my lord, for there is no comparison of your blessings to my sins. you are forgiving, and thats what i seek. i am sinful, but you are THE creator. its a human's nature to disobey, and its your authority to forgive.
Please forgive me. please give me courage to become a good muslim. please please make me a good muslim. please have mercy on me. please help me.
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3 comments:
oye.. its seems you are suffering from some depression ... Usually i advise people to get a good sleep when they feel such things.. but in your case, i would avise you to go on the roof of TF complex and jump from there..
trust me , that will solve all the problems.. money back gurantee... :)
I so much wish he could have listened to your advise man ^_^.
Assalam u alaikum! it was quite astonishing to see that u wrote sumthin v similar to wt I wrote last nite...u ave chosen d right words to xpress that "feeling" where once we reach we dnt undrstnd wt we r upto! N den we say no we have done sumthin to upset God dts y dis is happenin to us...but all in all even after dis realization d mind once again v face the inevitable reality that we r still stuck in d same circle of chores …in my case its more like a cultural n religious bond dt I can never break in order to b free…but then will I actually b “free” if I break dis “blessed” life dt God has bestowed me with….(Perhaps I’m just an ungrateful creature)!
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