Another day with the psuedo car

after that day, i was trying my best to avoid the grey one, but my badluck got me into trap once again. my parents were out of the city and the grey one was on my disposal. but instead of using the grey one, i kept using cab, because i knew that the grey one doesnt like me. i knew that its just waiting for the right moment to stop in the middle of the road to insult me. and finally, the grey one got the chance it was waiting for. my sister told me that she is tired of the routine, and wants to go to college abit late. unfortunately, i agreed. i had to reach office around 10, and could easily drop her to the college.

no one had used the grey one for days, and it was in a terrible state (or to be more accurate, it was in more terrible state than it normally remains in). so, i gave it a bath, hoping that it would get happy and wont create problems for me. after the "shower", i saw it in its real color after months!! anyways, we left for her college next morning. now luckily my college and my university were - and now my office is - at such locations that i normally dont need to travel on busy roads like Islamabad Highway in rush hours. but that day, i had to. after crossing the I-8 signal we soon became part of a very large queue of cars waiting for the zero-point signal. the traffic had come to a dead stop. it would move a few meters after every 2/3 minutes. and with the signal atleast a kilometer away, i soon figured out that it would take atleast half an hour to cross it. but what really irritated and worried me was the temperature - both overall and of the car. the grey one was getting angry. the temperature was rising, and both the grey one and i were losing temper very fast. the time was running out, and i had to pull over to the shoulder to "nagotiate" with it. i opened the bonnet, only to find out that the reserve coolant bottle was full, but somehow the radiator was really hot. i was releived to know that i had some good supply of water with me in the car. i needed to open the radiator cap, but how?? all i had was a piece of cloth abit larger than a handkerchief. right when i was about to twist the cap, i remembered a teacher of mine who had ruined his face trying to open the hot radiator cap. so, i stopped. i had to allow the water to cool down. about thirty minutes had passed when a motorbike stopped just beside me. it was mohsin, whose sister was my class fellow in school. he asked me if he could be of any help. to tell you the truth, i did need help, but did not want him to tell his sister about this. so, i told him that everything is ok.

finally when the grey one had cooled down, i thanked god, and twisted the key in the ignition to start the car... nothing happened. i tried again, nothing happened again. another try, but no luck. now this was too much. standing in the middle of nowhere, on one of the busiest roads around, the car could not be started "manually" (through dhakka i mean). i called my brother, who was supposed to pass through the same road in a while. he said he is coming, and another 30 minutes passed before he finally arrived.

till then, the rush hours were over, and the road was not THAT congested. first, we thought of towing the car, but "rope" we found in the car could be used to immobilize some kid, but not to tow a car. so, we requisted another person who was sitting at a distance besides his malfunctioned van to help us push the car. i sat in the driving seat, and that person, along with my brother (in a suit) started pushing the car. luckily, the car started in a few meters. so, we decided that i should "directly" go to office, and my brother will drop my sister. i started praying, and kept praying untill i reached within walking distance from office. i thanked god, atleast now i could park it anywhere in case it breaks down, and could reach office on foot. approaching the office building, i slowed down my car, and as soon as i turned left to get off the road, i heared a BIG collsion! and when i saw there, the car behind me had tried to overtake me, and collided head on with another car coming from the opposite side. as i was indirectly involved in the collision, i feared them dragging me into the "dialogue". so, i parked the grey one as soon as i could, and walked towards the building, avoiding eye contact with any of them. fortunately they did not involve me, and i finally reached office two hours later than i had planned!! but more importantly, i DID reach office!

i thought enough mockery has been made of my poor self, but the grey one was not over yet. after the office when i tried to start it to go home, it did not respond again! now what? i thought about asking the guards to get a push, but then the problem was that i had never talked to them during the past six months! so, i went into the office again. it was about 10PM, and none of my "friend colleagues" were there. usman - my team member - was sitting there. i was thinking of how to ask him to help me, when he asked that why i was back. i told him why. one more person was needed. so, i spotted a fastian - rizwan mubarak. both of them were about to leave, and were without a car. so, they packed up, and came along me to the grey one. it was second time in a day that the grey one was being pushed by people in suits!! they had to run for about 200 meters before it finally started! so, now i had to drop both of these to their homes. that was easy i thought, bec i knew that rizwan lives in G-9/4, less than a kilometer away, and usman lived in g-10, about two kilometers to the opposite side. it was usman's turn first, and i dropped him in G-10. but then, rizwan asked me to drop him to F-11, and i had to!! (didnt that push cost me too much?) when i finally reached F-11, i noticed that the temperature guage was rising again. OMG... i started praying. this is the last time Allah mian, i will never user this car again. i kept praying, and the guage kept rising. but luckily, the guage did not go far enough, and i finally reached home.

it was an embarrasing day, but luckily my family accepted the fact that there is some "chemistry" between me and the grey one. now they do try to keep that car away from me!! thank god!!!

moral of the story:
always keep a rope and some good water supply while travelling in such a car.
keep some fire-fighting equipment with u.
keep good relations with the building guards.
keep two persons in the car who can push it, whenever and wherever required.
if u cannot follow the above instructions, then never drive the grey one.!!

The Psuedo Car, A Poem

when writing the post Oceanic Thoughts: The Psuedo Car, i was thinking of this poem, just got hold of it! so, here is what the legendary zameer jafri has to say about sameer's princess and the haunted grey one:

The Psuedo Car

getting ready for the office, i counted the number of cars available and number of cars needed. after some "complex" calculations, i found out that i could get a car that day!! but alongwith this pleasant thought, there came a dangerous question, WHICH car? oh please no allah mian!! not THAT!!! a surge of fear went through my spine with the thought of driving the grey one. NOT that allah mian... praying for "protection" from this car, i asked my father which car to take... not this car pleaaase... after a deathening silence, he finally told me to take the grey one. DAMN!!! i took a deep breath, wishfully glanced at a brand new car parked behind this grey one, and another "good" car behind that... took another deep breath, and slid myself into the driving seat of the grey alto.

alto is not a bad car waisay, especially if u dont have any other option... but this grey one is a strange car, a natural nightmare for me atleast. i dont know its haunted or what, but ive never seen it in a good respectable condition. having a look at the "interior", i found out that both the direct-sun-beam protectors were missing. the dashboeard drawer door was held intact by a binding wire. right hand side mirror was missing, and the left one could show me anything except what i wanted it to! so, i had to rely on the inner rear-view mirror. but as soon as i touched it for some minor adjustments, it liked my touch so much that it left its base, and came along my hand!! (i swear that the adjustments WERE minor!!) so, now i could only pray that others drive responsibly to save me. throughout my journey, i kept praying for the car to not to get angry in the middle of the road. but to my surprise, it did take me to the office without getting annoyed.

everything went well untill the lunch time, when all of the 8 people who were hired with me, decided to go out to have lunch. the idea seemed perfect, but i did not know what was about to happen...when i joined others after "locking" my pc (why do they call it a lock when there is none??), i was told that we were short of cars. i was about to offer my car when i suddenly remembered that it was the grey one, and so decided to keep my mouth shut. i thanked god that they did not know about me being "the chosen one" to have a car that day... someone threw a brilliantly stupid idea of stuffing all the seven ppl into one car... "Hey, you have a car today??" someone asked, pointing to the car keys in my hand... "aaaaaaaaaa...Yes", i answered reluctantly, cursing myself on this habit of keeping keys in my hand... now i had no choice, but to offer them the ride of their lives in the haunted grey one. they obviously had accepted my offer even before i made one. so, everyone just walked towards the parking. i hopelessly stared at the gray one before unlocking it. mubashir - my colleague, but much senior - opened the other front door to amuse himself by the great interior of the grey one. but wait, the only mirror of this "psuedo-car" was showing me something... and again, it was NOT what i wanted it to show!! as though i was not already feeling embarrassed, they had sent the two girls of our batch to "enjoy" the ride of their lives in this psuedo-car!! DAMN!! i just wanted to run away from that grey one, and i'm sure those girls would have prefferred ANY other option after watching the "interior", but there was none! anyways, they closed their eyes, and made themselves "comfortable" at the back seats. (that surely was a very uncomfortable comfortable state!)

i started the grey one, brought it near the road, and then kept waiting there for about fifteen minutes to get a chance to become a part of the heavy trarffic, but it seemed an impossible task. in case you dont know, to be ablo to successfully cross that road in less than five minutes, you have to pass TDCRCP exam. (TDCRCP is TeraData Certified Road Crossing Professional). as i am yet to become TDCRCP, so i became a little devilish and brought it on the road taking a sharp turn and hearing some angry horns. the sharp turn amused mubashir so much that he is still afraid of my driving, and still tells the tale of that turn - whenever he gets a chance - with some good sound effects!!. and i keep telling him that i normally am a safe driver, provided that i am not driving this grey one!! i dont know whats wrong, but whenever i drive this car, my driving suddenly becomes devilish. anyways, we reached sufi restaurant, and parked the car. but getting out of the car, i remembered that one of car's back doors could not be opened from inside owing to a broken handle. but what really embarrassed me further was the scene of the back seat passengers getting out of the car in a que, through the single openable door.!

as soon as everyone got out of the car, we heard some noises which were a mixture of drums, tractors and rikshaws!! the noise pollution was getting nearer to us... but as soon as i was able to see the source of the noise, all my embarrassement went away because it was no rikshaw and no drums, it was sameer's car - the princess!! roaring, jolting and crawling on the road, it seemed much more embarrasing than the grey one.

the lunch was good, but i kept feeling that ive been to that place before... anyways, we came back safely, and the work went fine. but when i started the grey one after office to go home, i realized that the head lights were not working!! but being a pakistani, i soon found a solution. the high-beam dimper was working!! so i drove all the way keeping the lights handle pulled up!!

reaching home, i told the exagerated version of this story to everyone, but to keep things under control, carefully replaced girls with boys!! and i also told them that due to so much dust inside, the black suits of my colleagues became brown!! after listening to my story, the "higher management" agreed in principle to the following points:

1) i wont have to take this grey one, unless there is no other option.
2) i will get my own car very soon.
3) the so much fuss that ive created on this issue implies that there WERE some girls in my car at the lunch time!!

the frist two points were encouraging obviously, and the third one was to have a tickling dessert after a good dinner of my story!!

when i went to bed that night, my conscientious subconcious bombarded me with questions. do i deserve a car at all? what have i done so far in my life? how much have i earned so far?... my father spent his whole life on second hand bicycles, and my brothers used to go to office on public transport. shouldnt i be thankful to have a car atleast whenever i need?
i had no answer to any of the questions. so, i sent my conscience to sleep, and then went to sleep myself!!

Friday 24 Feb, 2006