The Psuedo Car

getting ready for the office, i counted the number of cars available and number of cars needed. after some "complex" calculations, i found out that i could get a car that day!! but alongwith this pleasant thought, there came a dangerous question, WHICH car? oh please no allah mian!! not THAT!!! a surge of fear went through my spine with the thought of driving the grey one. NOT that allah mian... praying for "protection" from this car, i asked my father which car to take... not this car pleaaase... after a deathening silence, he finally told me to take the grey one. DAMN!!! i took a deep breath, wishfully glanced at a brand new car parked behind this grey one, and another "good" car behind that... took another deep breath, and slid myself into the driving seat of the grey alto.

alto is not a bad car waisay, especially if u dont have any other option... but this grey one is a strange car, a natural nightmare for me atleast. i dont know its haunted or what, but ive never seen it in a good respectable condition. having a look at the "interior", i found out that both the direct-sun-beam protectors were missing. the dashboeard drawer door was held intact by a binding wire. right hand side mirror was missing, and the left one could show me anything except what i wanted it to! so, i had to rely on the inner rear-view mirror. but as soon as i touched it for some minor adjustments, it liked my touch so much that it left its base, and came along my hand!! (i swear that the adjustments WERE minor!!) so, now i could only pray that others drive responsibly to save me. throughout my journey, i kept praying for the car to not to get angry in the middle of the road. but to my surprise, it did take me to the office without getting annoyed.

everything went well untill the lunch time, when all of the 8 people who were hired with me, decided to go out to have lunch. the idea seemed perfect, but i did not know what was about to happen...when i joined others after "locking" my pc (why do they call it a lock when there is none??), i was told that we were short of cars. i was about to offer my car when i suddenly remembered that it was the grey one, and so decided to keep my mouth shut. i thanked god that they did not know about me being "the chosen one" to have a car that day... someone threw a brilliantly stupid idea of stuffing all the seven ppl into one car... "Hey, you have a car today??" someone asked, pointing to the car keys in my hand... "aaaaaaaaaa...Yes", i answered reluctantly, cursing myself on this habit of keeping keys in my hand... now i had no choice, but to offer them the ride of their lives in the haunted grey one. they obviously had accepted my offer even before i made one. so, everyone just walked towards the parking. i hopelessly stared at the gray one before unlocking it. mubashir - my colleague, but much senior - opened the other front door to amuse himself by the great interior of the grey one. but wait, the only mirror of this "psuedo-car" was showing me something... and again, it was NOT what i wanted it to show!! as though i was not already feeling embarrassed, they had sent the two girls of our batch to "enjoy" the ride of their lives in this psuedo-car!! DAMN!! i just wanted to run away from that grey one, and i'm sure those girls would have prefferred ANY other option after watching the "interior", but there was none! anyways, they closed their eyes, and made themselves "comfortable" at the back seats. (that surely was a very uncomfortable comfortable state!)

i started the grey one, brought it near the road, and then kept waiting there for about fifteen minutes to get a chance to become a part of the heavy trarffic, but it seemed an impossible task. in case you dont know, to be ablo to successfully cross that road in less than five minutes, you have to pass TDCRCP exam. (TDCRCP is TeraData Certified Road Crossing Professional). as i am yet to become TDCRCP, so i became a little devilish and brought it on the road taking a sharp turn and hearing some angry horns. the sharp turn amused mubashir so much that he is still afraid of my driving, and still tells the tale of that turn - whenever he gets a chance - with some good sound effects!!. and i keep telling him that i normally am a safe driver, provided that i am not driving this grey one!! i dont know whats wrong, but whenever i drive this car, my driving suddenly becomes devilish. anyways, we reached sufi restaurant, and parked the car. but getting out of the car, i remembered that one of car's back doors could not be opened from inside owing to a broken handle. but what really embarrassed me further was the scene of the back seat passengers getting out of the car in a que, through the single openable door.!

as soon as everyone got out of the car, we heard some noises which were a mixture of drums, tractors and rikshaws!! the noise pollution was getting nearer to us... but as soon as i was able to see the source of the noise, all my embarrassement went away because it was no rikshaw and no drums, it was sameer's car - the princess!! roaring, jolting and crawling on the road, it seemed much more embarrasing than the grey one.

the lunch was good, but i kept feeling that ive been to that place before... anyways, we came back safely, and the work went fine. but when i started the grey one after office to go home, i realized that the head lights were not working!! but being a pakistani, i soon found a solution. the high-beam dimper was working!! so i drove all the way keeping the lights handle pulled up!!

reaching home, i told the exagerated version of this story to everyone, but to keep things under control, carefully replaced girls with boys!! and i also told them that due to so much dust inside, the black suits of my colleagues became brown!! after listening to my story, the "higher management" agreed in principle to the following points:

1) i wont have to take this grey one, unless there is no other option.
2) i will get my own car very soon.
3) the so much fuss that ive created on this issue implies that there WERE some girls in my car at the lunch time!!

the frist two points were encouraging obviously, and the third one was to have a tickling dessert after a good dinner of my story!!

when i went to bed that night, my conscientious subconcious bombarded me with questions. do i deserve a car at all? what have i done so far in my life? how much have i earned so far?... my father spent his whole life on second hand bicycles, and my brothers used to go to office on public transport. shouldnt i be thankful to have a car atleast whenever i need?
i had no answer to any of the questions. so, i sent my conscience to sleep, and then went to sleep myself!!

Friday 24 Feb, 2006